I am my own.

What Ermagherd speak is doing to me:

TV: Take the eggplant and slice it up, placing it on the lasagna.

Me: ERMAGHERD. TERK DAT DERR ERGPLERNT ERND SLERCE ERT ERP. PLERCE ERT ERN DAT LERSERGNER.

How is it possible that I'm single. Srsly.